Friday, October 19, 2012

The "Refined" Project - Marie



I met Marie through church and had the pleasure of serving with her on the leadership team. We were chatting one morning before church and that’s how I came to know a little of her testimony….I asked her if she would like to share it for my project and I was honored when she said yes. Marie heads the Children’s Ministry at Father’s House in Bend, OR. She has an amazing servants heart and loves those children with all that she has. She has an amazing heart for people and that is so evident on Sunday morning and seeing all the faces that she has invited to church. She doesn’t keep her faith a secret and her joy for the Lord is contagious…any chance she gets, she invites someone to church. God has used her to touch so many lives…including mine. Thank you Marie for being so willing to share your story…just another way that God is using you to touch lives. Love you Marie!


Little girl Lost

I remember being five and going to my first foster home. I didn’t quite know why but all my bother’s and sister’s were with me so I was ok. About a year later my mom pulls up in a convertible with our new dad. So about six months later we went to our new home.
Over the years we were in and out of foster homes. Some good and some really bad. (Details get lost when you’re a little girl.) I remember the day I went from being Tina to Marie. We were in a new town and the new school year was starting, so I asked my mom if I could go by Marie. In my heart it was because I was tired of being scared.
Every year it was a new town and a new school, sometimes-new people to live with.
So fifth grade began. And I got tough. It was time to take care of my little sister and myself. You see by know the seven of us where split up. And I honestly don’t know were everyone else was.When things went wrong or people (guys) would hurt us. I thought it was my fault or I deserved it. And I would hide my shame.

Good times (going to my grandma’s house) My grandma would always love me no matter what. So getting to spend time with her was invaluable. She would take us to church and town functions. (Easter egg hunts, Christmas plays, etc.) She told me once; you make a decision good or bad, learn from it and live with it. She was tuff!!!
At seventeen I married. I was tired of not having a place to live. I had been on my own for a long time and just wanted someone to love me. At nineteen we had our first son, and then two years later came our second son. My marriage was not good and I couldn’t seem to do anything right. I wanted to leave but after talking with grandma, I stayed. Four months later I was pregnant again with our daughter. Happy or not I was going to make the best of it.
When I was eight and a half months along my grandma passed away.
Ok time to grow up and be a big girl. I left my husband, went to my sisters and had no plan. I was just tired of being treated like I was not even good enough to wipe your feet on.
I made mistakes. I drank, I did drugs and I thought happiness was never going to come my way. I was going to be just like my mom. Moving from town to town, looking for the next love. I even lost custody of my children.
My grandma’s words kept coming back to me. Trust in the Lord and He will keep you safe!

What safe? Have’nt I been safe all this time? No. Does God really, really help people? That was to be determined!
In 1995 I remarried, and I was going to make this work. I did everything I possibly could to destroy my marriage, and I mean everything. Then one day Mike was fed up and left. Two weeks went by and he would not talk to me. That was my wake up call. If he wasn’t going to try then neither was I. I told him I was moving back to Oregon, he could go or stay but it wasn’t working and I had to make a change. So 1997 we moved to Redmond.
Things were still hard but we were working on it. We became involved with a company called New Image (just want I needed.)
There we met a guy names Benny. And Benny was as persistent as my grandma. Come to church, God is with you…and so on and so on. We went, Oct 18th 1998 was the day I believe I heard God say (I am with you, and I will never leave you.)
Sometimes it has to get harder to get easier. I had a lot of anger and pain to work through. With the help of a good Christian councilor and the church, I am a different person today.
I have asked for forgiveness and I have forgiven.
Sometimes my childhood comes back in little ways but I’ve learned to work through it and give it to God. My relationship with my kids and my husband are stronger then ever. My relationship with the Lord is first and foremost.
He is my rock, my fortress, my shelter and the love of my life.
Because of Him I live free from guilt and shame. And that’s the best thing I can share.
Grandma does know best.

Blessing’s
Tina Marie Armon